


You're the Reason I Still Play Volleyball

by mysugawara



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Slice of Life, daisuga - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-07-15 03:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7205492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysugawara/pseuds/mysugawara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daichi moves to the United States to attend university on an academic and athletic scholarship.  A year later Daichi finds himself depressed and lonely and longing to be with his old team back at Karasuno.  It isn't until he unexpectedly reunites with his vice captain before he realizes why he started playing in the first place and why he should keep fighting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He's the Reason I Still Play Volleyball

It was a Saturday in the summer before his sophomore year when Daichi Sawamura walked out of his dorm and out into the hot California sun.  He had way too many layers on and immediately started to sweat.  His hair was cropped short at the sides, but he left his top a little longer, just long enough so that some of it would blow with the wind when it came around.  He wore glasses because he liked how he looked in them, but mostly to hide the constant dark circles around his eyes from the countless sleepless nights on campus.  

School had just let out for the summer and Daichi was not ready to have that much free time.  It was too much time to think.  Too much time to sit alone in his dorm and be stuck in his own thoughts.  Too much time to think about being back in Japan with the people he was familiar with, his former volleyball team that he so adored.  Volleyball...when was the last time he had played volleyball?  The past semester was a blur; he could barely remember specifically what he had been doing for that amount of time.  

He began walking down the sidewalk away from his dorm.  There were cars parked all along the curb filled with parents eager to have their sons or daughters back with them for the summer.  Seniors packed their own cars and moved on to wherever they would be living.  Daichi was one of the only students staying on campus for the summer.  He didn’t have enough money to go back to Japan.  If he hadn’t gotten good enough grades in high school he wouldn’t even be here.  His family wouldn’t have had enough funds to send him all the way here to get an education.  Not to mention his skill as a volleyball player.  That scholarship didn’t pan out, however.  

He continued walking down the path, passed the cafeteria where he ate everyday, passed the library where many hours were spent studying, and passed the main building where most of his classes were held.  Professors could be seen in the windows collecting papers and organizing their things to get ready for the next semester.  Some came out of the building with arm loads of school supplies and papers that they needed to prepare for the upcoming school year, but for now they were ready to be off campus for a while.  Daichi did not have this luxury.  He felt jealous.  

Continuing down the path he reached the lake which had a dock extending out from the shore.  A couple could be seen sitting on the end of it, their hands clasped together and their heads on each other's shoulders.  They had a reason to be happy.  They had each other to get through the bad times.  

The sun’s reflection rippled gently across the surface of the little lake.  Flower petals from the blooming trees landed on its surface and swirled around with the gentle gusts of wind.  All seemed peaceful outside.  A pair of ducks flew overhead and splashed into the water and their little peeps could be heard as they skittishly swam around.  

A small smile reached Daichi’s lips.  It was so serene.  It only lasted a moment though.  

 

**. . .**

 

The trail winded it’s way across campus, eventually making its way to the highway.  This highway divided the city in two.  The west side was older, closer to the sea, and housed the more wealthy families in the area.  The east side was where the college resided and where the younger generations lived.  It was lower income, but more cultured.  Art was more prevalent and more emphasis was placed on enjoying your life than being successful.  This was one of the reasons Daichi picked this college.  He could be himself and not feel pressured to conform to anyone else.  He was always secretly a rebel.  

When the trail ended at the highway, Daichi had to make a choice.  Go left or right?  Left was toward the countryside; right went further into the city.  He figured he could grab a bite to eat if he went to town, so he elected to go right.  

Cars whizzed passed him as he strolled down the small, cracked sidewalk towards downtown.  He realized that he had never been up this way and never explored this area much.  He usually kept to his dorm or to the library during the school year.  This was his first summer that he was spending by himself.  He needed somewhere that he could go to escape the daily grind of college.  It probably wasn’t good for him to keep to himself during the year, but he did anyway.  Maybe to keep to the familiar.  Maybe he was scared to face his team again.  

No.  Stop thinking about it.  Move on, he pleaded with himself.  He stared down at his black loafers.  He dressed like he respected himself.  Knew what he was doing.  He dressed responsibly.  He dressed that way to mask his insecurities.  No one else could know how he felt, how could they?  Daichi could barely speak English.  He could never express how he felt to anyone else unless they spoke his native tongue.  

The sidewalk opened up when he got to downtown.  There were shops on either side of the street, mostly tourist shops filled with trinkets that were of no use to anyone.  Further down the street there were coffee shops and little cafes that were staffed by college students.  The streets were surprisingly packed with people.  It was lunchtime after all.  

Daichi continued down the sidewalk and followed it down until he got to a cafe.  He needed some tea.  The door squeaked and a bell rang overhead as he entered.  The counters were a dark, polished wood where the knots and other imperfections could be seen.  There were chairs in the corner who were occupied with middle aged men with laptops, all typing away at their various documents.  Tables were occupied by married couples or maybe a group of friends here and there.  The pairs that were obviously on dates were seated in the corners where the tables only sat two.  A nice soft glow came in from the small windows at the front and the entire cafe was filled with the comforting smell of tea and espresso.  It felt like home to Daichi.  

He ordered a cup of green tea in which he added a bit of milk to.  He sat in the back corner, stared into his cup, and let the warmness of the drink rejuvenate him.  It was the best cup of tea he had in a long time.  

He put two quarters into the tip jar as he went out and took a sharp right turn to continue down the sidewalk.  There were storm clouds to the west, but they would not be reaching the coast for at least another hour.  He still had time.  

The warmness of the tea slowly wore off as he walked down the sidewalk and slowly his thoughts crept back into his mind as he thought about his own mistakes.  He would much rather think about nothing than what he was thinking of now.  

Why?  Why did he leave?  Why did he quit?  How pathetic.  What a waste of space.  He meant so much to Karasuno as the captain, but now, why was he such a screw-up?  His talent as a volleyball player and his outstanding academics granted him a scholarship to play at his college.  He earned a free ride to college, but he blew his chance after the first year.  Now, like most, he was paying for college with student loans.  His academic scholarship didn’t cover all the expenses.  Daichi felt ashamed that, in his eyes, he was a failure.  

He heard laughs coming from down street.  Probably some goons from the college here to pick up some girls.  He didn’t like the average jock, especially the ones that played, what was it called?  Football?  Football jocks were the worst.  

He found himself sat on a bench.  He was too deep in thought to realize what he was doing.  The wind blew stronger and his bangs blew down into his face.  The laughs got closer and the voices got more distinct.  Was that Japanese he heard?  It was!  He hadn’t heard Japanese in over a year and he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  

He looked in the direction in which it came from and saw a group of about ten boys walking down the street.  They wore matching uniforms and walked with the luminescent confidence of a good and talented team.  The team had a certain strut in their step.   Their uniforms read, in Japanese, “Tokai University Volleyball Club.”  What was a Japanese volleyball team doing here in California?  Why would they want to scrimmage an American volleyball team?  

Daichi looked at the team while they walked down the street towards him.  Most had short cropped hair, but one had long hair held in the back by a pony tail.  They looked like a regular volleyball team.  Tall, slender, and super intimidating.  As the team walked past him he saw no faces that seemed familiar to him.  Not that he expected to find anyone he knew anyway.  

Looking up at the now overcast sky Daichi went back into deep thought and pondered whether or not he should really be at school.  He had lost all motivation to keep going.  He felt empty inside and felt the he had no purpose.  He blew a full ride scholarship and let the team that he committed to down.  He was ashamed to be at the same campus as them.  

“Hey wait up!” a young, smooth voice called in Japanese.  Daichi recognized it.  His eyes snapped open and he looked to his left.  There he was.  His vice captain, Sugawara Koushi, in the flesh jogging down the street towards his new team.  

His hair was longer than he remembered.  It was still its distinctive silver color.  A color that Daichi came to love in his years of playing volleyball with that boy.  He still tucked his long hair behind his ears, but now one of those ears had a piercing in it, a black stud, that stood out against his unusually fair skin.  

His face was just as he remembered it.  A warm, welcoming smile was on his face as he jogged down the sidewalk.  It was such a familiar sight to him.  He started, mesmerized, at him as he jogged passed him down the street towards the team.  Daichi couldn’t speak.  He could only stare.  

He realized what he was doing.  He needed to speak up.  He needed someone to talk to after all this time.  Daichi needed to be pulled out of the dark hole that he had dug for himself, like a slave would do for an unknown cause, only because his master told him to.  Daichi needed a savior.  

Daichi stood up abruptly.  He looked down the street.  Suga was a good thirty feet from him.  If he yelled he could get his attention.  

“S-. . .S-Suga-san!” he yelled down the street.  The team in their red uniforms turned around, including Suga.  

Suga looked puzzled for a second, but then he took up a surprised expression.  

“Daichi?” he said with raised eyebrows.  The two boys stared at each other for a moment.  Daichi could feel tears welling up in his eyes.  Why was he getting so emotional?  

“I’m. . . sorry, Suga-san.  I’m so sorry.” he said with a crack in his voice, threatening to burst into tears at any moment.  

The team that stood behind Suga was perplexed at the situation.  Suga stood there not believing what he was seeing.  

Daichi’s face looked intense and sorrowful.  Suga could tell that Daichi’s emotions that had been stored inside him for so long, as they always were, were threatening to boil to the surface and let loose like floodgates.  Just as he was about to say something, Daichi tore off down the sidewalk, almost colliding with a couple as they walked down the street.

“Daichi!” screamed Suga as he cupped his hands around his mouth.  

“What was that about?” asked a teammate.  

“I need to go talk to him,” Suga said in a very serious tone.  “Just go back to the hotel and I’ll meet you back there.  I haven’t seen him in such a long time, but I know him too well.  There’s something wrong.”

“Why do you care so much, Suga-san?” asked another teammate.  

“Because he meant a lot to me in high school,” Suga answered.  “He’s the reason I’m still playing volleyball.”


	2. How'd you get my number?

Daichi didn’t even know why he started running.  Maybe it was because he couldn’t bear to see Suga’s face again.  Or maybe it was because he didn’t want Suga to find out what happened to him.  For the longest time Daichi only wanted to bear this burden alone.  This chance meeting with his former vice captain was his chance to open up to someone, but he passed it up.  In his mind he thought it better to keep it to himself.  It was his problem after all.  

He sprinted two blocks before he finally stopped.  Passersby stared at him as he collapsed into a bench beside the avenue that split downtown in two.  The short sprint left him sweaty in his preppy sweater that he wore too often.  He was far too overdressed for the scorching summer heat anyways.  Daichi elected to go back to his dorm and relax for the rest of the day.  He didn’t want to risk running into Suga again and have to explain himself.  He would rather not have that conversation today.  

It was a long, lonely walk back to the university.  The wind picked up even more from when he first came into town and it looked as if the storm was almost to the coast.  Pedestrians came running down the sidewalk with umbrellas in hand trying to get back to their vehicles so they could seek shelter from the rain.  Daichi kept walking at his sauntering pace.  Some people gave him a concerned look as they jogged past, almost as if they were saying, “Are you okay?”  Was it that apparent that he really wasn’t?

He finally reached his dorm some minutes later and trudged up the stairs to his room.  Slamming the door behind him, he collapsed onto his bed trying to clear his head and forget about his encounter with Suga earlier.  He could not get Suga’s image out of his head.  It was etched into his brain.  Before he knew it he was asleep.  He slept longer than usual.  Longer than he had ever slept during the entire school year.  

 

. . .

 

The vibration from Daichi’s cell phone woke him up some hours later.  His alarm clock read 1:00 PM.  He slept for a total of sixteen hours.  

Daichi answered the call and said in his thick accent, “Hello?”  

“Daichi-san,” a smooth voice answered.  It could only be Suga.  

Daichi switched to Japanese, “Suga . . . how did you get my number?”  

He was answered by a sweet chuckle, “It’s not that hard to get someone’s number around here.  All I had to do was talk to a few people around your campus.  I saw the crest that was on your sweater.  I recognized it as the university that our team is supposed to play in a practice match tomorrow.”  

Daichi had forgotten how crafty Suga was and how easily he could get information out of people.  It had only been a year and he had forgotten so much about his friend and vice captain.  

“Suga-san,” Daichi answered after a short pause.  “Why are you calling me?  Why did you go through all that trouble just to get my number?”  

Suga laughed again.  “Do you want to go get some food sometime?”  

“Is he asking me out on a date?” Daichi thought to himself.  He shook his head.  That couldn’t be.  Things couldn’t escalate that quickly.  

“Sure.  I think I’d like that,” he finally said.  

“I’m glad,” Suga responded.  “I’ll see you outside your dorm tomorrow night.  Don’t be late, captain.”

Daichi flinched at that title.  He wasn’t a captain anymore.  He wasn’t even close to deserving to be called that again.  What a failure he was.  

“Yeah…” Daichi answered emptily.  “Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Suga-san.”  

“See you tomorrow, Daichi-san.”  He hung up the phone.  

Thoughts were zooming through Daichi’s head at a thousand miles per hour.  Why is he talking to me?  Why does he want to get together with me?  Does he know I’m not doing well?  Oh no, I’m going to have to explain everything to him!  

Daichi was starting to get anxious over this meeting with Suga.  He didn’t want to have to tell him everything about the past year.  For one thing, he wanted to push those memories far into the back of his mind.  Daichi also didn’t want Suga to think badly of him.  He was so successful in high school.  His teammates relied on him and looked up to him.  Now look at him.  He was miserable.  

Daichi looked out his window.  The sidewalks outside of his dorm room were empty.  Everyone had gone home for the summer.  Everyone except for the few students didn’t have a place to go for the summer.  

It was a bright summer day outside.  Not a cloud in the sky.  There wasn’t any moisture in the air to allow for a cloud to accumulate.  The sun beat down on the pavement and caused the air around it to shimmer.  Daichi didn’t feel like going outside.  Outside wasn’t a place for him to be right now.  

Suddenly a flash of red caught Daichi’s eye and he snapped his gaze to the source.  It was a group of tall boys in red warmup jackets.  They walked in an intimidating pack, almost as if they were a company of soldiers going into battle.  It gave Daichi the creeps.  

All of the sudden one of them stopped.  Suga turned towards Daichi’s window and smiled his beaming smile and gave a little wave.  The silver shine of his hair was exaggerated by the strong midday sun.  A slight breeze whipped through his soft hair, rustling it a little.  Suga’s image was angelic.  

Daichi looked out the window with his mouth agape.  He rubbed his eyes . . . and then he was gone.  As fast as he appeared, he vanished.  Daichi collapsed on his bed and contemplated what he just saw.  He smiled to himself and blushed a little.  In that moment, Daichi was looking forward to their little get together.  

 

. . .

 

The next day Daichi spent his morning cleaning his dorm room to keep his mind off of coming evening.  The feeling that he had the day before when he saw Suga out his window had worn off only to be replaced by anxiety.  Cleaning was the only thing he could do to keep his mind off his problems at the moment.  He wasn’t too bad at it either.  

He cleaned and organized his closet, then changed and washed his sheets, and finally organized his desk.  Everything looked spick and span after he was finished and he was quite proud of his work.  The janitors would thank him too.  

After he finished cleaning he elected to go down to the cafeteria to get some breakfast.  It was the usual breakfast food that they had.  The typical American spread.  Cereal, eggs, bacon, sausage, toast.  He missed the breakfast food that he ate back in Japan.  This was okay, though, he couldn’t really complain.  At least he had food to eat. 

Once his breakfast was finished he elected to take a short walk around campus to take his mind off of the coming night.  The hot summer sun beat down on his shoulders as he walked down the cracked sidewalk.  A hot breeze that came from the west did nothing to cool him off, for it was just too dry to do any good.  At least he wasn’t overdressed this time.   Summers never got this hot in Japan.  Hell, summers almost never got this hot in most places in the world.  

Daichi walked himself into a trance, a mindless trance.  He stared at the ground and cleared his mind of all thoughts, good and bad.  Before he knew it he arrived at the entrance to the school gymnasium.  This was the last place he wanted to be.  

There was something about the large doors at its entrance that gave Daichi the creeps.  To people visiting the college, their gymnasium was an architectural marvel.  It had a modern look, incorporating bright colors into its intricate design that used lots of windows to let in natural light.  It was probably the nicest gymnasium that Daichi would ever play in.  

Yet, Daichi couldn’t bring himself to enter.  It would bring back too many stinging memories.  He stood there for few minutes gazing up at the grand windows on the front side of the building.  Then he left.  

_ Best not risk it,  _ Daichi thought to himself.  He quickly gathered his bearings and headed back to his dorm room.  Evening was coming fast and he had to prepare himself for their meet up.  His anxiety was now getting the better of him.  


	3. Reunion

Daichi looked at the alarm clock that sat beside his bed.  It read six o’clock, which meant it was only an hour before he would have to meet Suga.  He looked at himself in the mirror.  He still wore the same sweater as yesterday, but now his collar was messy and protruded out from the sweater awkwardly.  The rest of the outfit was also a disaster.  He needed a change of clothes before he would be able to present himself properly.  

He walked over to his closet and looked over his wardrobe.  There were casual clothes there, but Daichi thought he should dress up a little more.  Suga was an old friend after all.  He didn’t want to dress up  _ too  _ much either.  It wasn’t a date or anything . . . or was it?  No.  He pushed those thoughts out of his mind.  

Looking over his wardrobe again, Daichi selected a black button-down shirt with rolled sleeves, dark skinny-fitted jeans, and his only pair of sneakers that he owned.  He took a couple of looks at himself in the mirror before finally deciding that the outfit was adequate.  Not too casual and not too formal.  

Moving to the bathroom, Daichi combed his hair and put a bit of product in it so it would hold its shape.  He couldn’t remember the last time he had done anything with his hair.  Usually he would just leave like it was when he woke up in the morning.  Another bad habit that he had picked up from the countless late nights spent studying during the school year.  

He cleaned his glasses off until they were smudgeless, then applied some cologne to his neck.  He should have taken a shower, but even the thought of this little get together he was having pushed any thoughts of hygiene out of his mind.  Looking in the mirror once again, Daichi decided that he looked presentable, good even.  A small smile reached his face.  He was starting to get excited.  

The bedside alarm clock read 6:45.  Just fifteen minutes until he had to meet Suga outside his dorm.  Daichi looked presentable, but he wasn’t quite sure whether or not he was mentally ready.  He was stuck halfway between being terrified of what was about to happen and being very excited about their meeting.  

His way of coping with this weird mixture of emotions was sitting on his bed staring at his alarm clock until it read 7:00.  

When it finally did read 7:00, he snapped out of his trance and panicked a little.  What would he say?  What were they going to do?  How awkward would it be?  All of these questions and more were scattered throughout Daichi’s thoughts.  After a few minutes of contemplating he got up off of his bed and headed to the entrance to his dorm.  

The long, dark hallway ended with the glass-paned doorway leading out to the campus.  Daichi slowly walked down the dimly lit hall and inched closer and closer to the light.  The hallway got progressively lighter as he neared the door.  Soon it became too bright for him to see properly, which caused him to shield his eyes.  

Once he arrived at the door, he pushed it open and stopped to let his eyes adjust to the bright summer sun.  Once he opened them wide again, he was met with a sight that he had been longing for for some time.  

His former teammate, fellow student, and good friend, Sugawara Koushi, was standing there dressed in a cream colored cardigan with dark skinny jeans.  His silver hair almost glowed in the sun and caused his complexion to be warm and inviting.  He had a slight smile on his face, but his eyes expressed feelings of overjoyment from seeing Daichi for the first time in over a year.  It felt like a lifetime to both of them.  

“You look nice, Daichi,” Suga chuckled.  

Daichi blushed.  “W-why are you laughing, Suga?”  

“I think we’re wearing the same jeans,” Suga added with an even bigger grin this time.  Daichi looked horrified at this revelation. 

“What?!  Really?  I better go change . . .” 

No, Daichi!  Really it’s fine!  You look really good in those jeans,” Suga said a little more seriously.  “Your clothes look good, but the rest of you . . . not so much.”  

Daichi looked away.  He knew it was obvious that he really wasn’t doing well.  The two stood there for a few moments in an awkward silence.  

“Well,” Suga said finally.  “Shall we go?  I found the perfect place for us to go and catch up.”  

“Sounds nice.  Yeah let’s hit the road.”  

 

. . .

 

They walked in silence for a few moments, but it wasn’t an awkward one.  Daichi felt oddly comfortable just walking in silence next to Suga.  Finally Suga snuck a glance at Daichi out of the corner of his eye.  Daichi caught Suga’s gaze and returned it to him.  Their eyes met and Suga blushed a little.  They continued walking down the street.  

After a few minutes of walking they reached downtown.  It was hustling and bustling with the sounds of the weekend dinner rush.  College students and older couples alike came downtown to go on dates and shop around.  This small little cluster of small restaurants and shops were a haven for those that wanted an intimate first date, or maybe a quiet one at that.  At most a typical restaurant here held about thirty people, including staff.  

“Here follow me,” Suga said suddenly.  He started walking faster down the sidewalk.  After a few minutes he led Daichi down a small alleyway to a small door that had some writing painted on it in Japanese.  It read “Sunsets of Miyagi”.  

“Wow, Suga!  How did you find this place?” Daichi exclaimed.  

“Oh just a little Google search.  It wasn’t too hard.  I’m surprised you didn’t find it first, Mr. Tea Connoisseur!”  

Daichi couldn’t believe that Suga still remembered that he loved tea so much.  “So this is a tea shop then?” Daichi finally added.  

“Yep.  And a Japanese one at that!  All of the employees speak Japanese.”  

Daichi stood there for a moment and admired the door.  It was painted a soft orange color, much like the color of a sunset on a clear day.  A cracked pattern was painted into the door with black paint which gave the illusion that the door was older than it actually was.  A small mural expanded from the doorway outwards, depicting the rolling hills of the Japanese countryside.  Rice fields could be seen, along with small villages that dotted the landscape.  

“Daichi!” Suga shouted, interrupting Daichi’s trance.  “Let’s go inside!  You don’t just want to stare at the outside do you?”  

They crossed the threshold of the doorway and entered the quaint little tea shop.  It was like stepping into another world.  The strong smell of incense met Daichi’s nose as he entered.  Beautiful muraled wallpaper covered the walls, which were accented by large beams of rich, dark cherry wood.  The floors were also the same rich cherry wood, but were polished even more so and gave off a soft reflection of pictures on the walls.  

To the left there was a bar area, made of the same beautiful cherry wood, that spanned the length of the cozy space.  On the right there was booth seating.  Some booths were big enough for only two, some big enough for four.  It looked as if there were only two people staffed at the tea shop that night. 

“Suga,” Daichi said with astonishment in his voice.  “This place is absolutely amazing.  I love it!”  He looked at his friend.  

Suga looked back with his beaming smile.  “I knew you’d love it!”

Daichi took one last look around and finally said, “Okay, let’s sit down.  I’m starving to tell you the truth.”  

So the two sat down at a booth that sat only two.  A waitress walked over, greeted them both in Japanese, and took their orders.  Daichi ordered some pork buns and a cup of green tea with orange peel.  Suga ordered spicy curry with a cup of chai oolong tea.  

“I’m really glad you like this place Daichi,” Suga said after the waitress was done taking their order.  “I really wanted to do something special for you.”  His tone turned serious.  “It’s not hard to tell that you haven’t been doing well.”  

Daichi looked away.  He knew that he would have to explain himself to Suga, but it was the last thing he wanted to do.  

“Daichi, you can’t go through things like this alone.  Don’t you have friends on the volleyball team that you can talk to?”  

He looked down at his hands.  “I . . . haven’t been playing volleyball, Suga.  The truth is that I’ve let my team down.  I got discouraged.  I couldn’t man up.  I just couldn’t be there for my team . . .” Daichi said with obvious pain in his voice.  “I had no idea coming to a new country and a new school would be so hard.”  

Suga looked almost horrified at this unexpected news that Daichi had ceased playing volleyball.  “Volleyball is your everything!” Suga exclaimed.  “What could have possibly made you stop playing it?  Was it a teammate?  Did something big happen?  Did you get injured? Was the coa-”

“Suga, calm down please,” Daichi interjected with the same tone that he would use with a teammate.  “Please don’t lose your cool in public.”  

Suga looked a bit annoyed, but shrugged it off.  “Daichi, please tell me what happened.  I hate seeing you like this.”  

Daichi looked down at his hands again, but then slowly raised his head and looked directly in Suga’s eyes.  

“Th-the reason I’ve been having trouble is . . . is . . . because you’re not here.  I’ve missed you . . . so much, Suga.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really enjoyed writing the description of the tea shop and I hope I painted a good enough picture for you all. I hope you will enjoy the next chapter when I update it in a week. I think things will only get better :)


	4. Why did I come here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR SUCH A LONG TIME. I've been distracted with school work and finding time and motivation to write is a hard thing to do. I will seriously try to update this fic at least once a week. Once every 2-3 is probably more likely. Thanks so much for reading it!

If there were ever a sentence that Daichi wanted to take back, it was that one.  That wasn’t the time nor place to say something with that emotional weight.  Daichi’s cheeks flushed bright red causing him to shift his gaze away from Suga towards the wall to his right.  

Suga looked confused.  He didn’t know what Daichi meant.  His obliviousness to Daichi’s feelings had been present ever since they were in high school.  Suga’s mind was not aware that it would even be possible that Daichi liked him.  Daichi always acted different around him, always did nice things for him, was honest with him, and always showed him compassion.  Daichi was Suga’s best friend through high school; could it really be that they were more than that?  

“I have to go now,” Daichi’s voice cracked as he abruptly stood up.  He began walking towards the door when Suga shot out of his chair and grabbed his shoulder.

“What did you mean by that?” Suga asked urgently.  He had an anxious look on his face and looked ready for an honest answer.  Suga had that aura about him that you could tell him anything you wanted to.  That aura was why he was so well liked by everyone.  

“Nothing at all,” Daichi answered.  

“Why don’t you sit down,” Suga suggested with a hint of force, as if he was an assertive mother coaxing a child into behaving.  Daichi paused for a moment, then slowly turned around and took his seat.  By the time they both sat down a waitress came out with their tea and food on a tray.  She set the tray down on the table with a slight smile before strolling off, leaving the two in awkward silence.  

The divide between the two of them had never been greater.  Daichi was not near ready to come to terms with the fact that the feelings he had for Suga were much more than just loneliness and the lack of a friend.  He had known it all through high school that Suga was his best friend and always had the feeling that their connection was strong.  

This silence was killing Daichi.  This was the kind of silence you feel after a harsh argument where tensions were high and false accusations were thrown all over the place.  Tension that was so thick it clouded your judgement and slowed your thinking.  All of these emotions were floating through Daichi’s head while they sat in silence sipping tea and occasionally taking small bites of their food.  

Suga was worried.  He didn’t quite know why Daichi was so on edge.  He wanted to get to the bottom of this problem.  Looking at Daichi, he could tell that something was seriously wrong, but he couldn’t see what.  All of the sudden Suga could hear sniffles and he quickly snapped his head up and looked at Daichi.  

Tears were welling up in Daichi’s eyes, yet his visage seemed stone cold.  He was trying his hardest to keep a straight face, concealing his feelings, but horribly failing at it.  

Suga didn’t know what was happening.  He could feel tears welling up in his eyes as well.  Why was he tearing up?  He hated seeing Daichi like this.  

“Why am I here, Suga?” Daichi said drily.  “Why did I choose to come here?”

Suga couldn’t control his emotions.  He let out an open sob.  “Because you wanted a better opportunity. . .” Suga managed.  “W-wanted a better opportunity to do the thing you love!” 

“No,” Daichi retorted with a hint of aggression.  “Why did I ever think that I could talk to you now, when I could never before.”  He left a twenty dollar bill on the table before exiting the tea shop.  The little bell on its door dinged as he shut it.  

Feelings of confusion, sadness, and sympathy overwhelmed Suga all at once, yet he couldn’t bring himself to cry.  He wiped away the tears that hung in his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater and tried to collect himself.  He couldn’t process what Daichi said now.  He was too emotional over it.  

The waitress came back over to the table and asked if they had finished their meal.  Suga confirmed and the waitress cleared the table and gave him the bill.  Suga payed with his own money, then took to the twenty that Daichi laid on the table and stuck it in his pocket.  He would have to give it to Daichi later.  

The sun was getting low in the sky as Suga exited the tea shop and stepped out into the dry California air.  There was a golden filter on everything that touched the sun’s rays which gave a warm and comforting look to downtown.  Suga could finally appreciate why they called it “the golden state”.  

After taking a good look and the serene sight before him he decided to walk back to the hotel that his team was staying in.  The walk back was a lonely one, but he couldn’t pinpoint why he was feeling that way.  

For the better part of the last year Suga had been attending university by himself.  The only interaction he had was with a few friends he had made during his first few classes and of course his volleyball teammates.  Despite practicing with them almost daily, Suga felt like he never really connected with them as much as he did with Karasuno.  He had gotten used to walking streets alone, eating by himself, and self studying.  For some reason he was perfectly fine with doing all of those things by himself, but only know is he realizing how much he missed having a close friend to talk to.  Studying kept him so busy that he forgot how important human interaction was.  

Not ten minutes later he arrived back at his hotel.  Some of his teammates were sitting in the lobby messing about.  

“Sugawara-san!” one his teammates exclaimed as he walked in.  “Where were ya?  Coach was looking for-- woah, what’s wrong?”  The rest of the teammates sitting around the table turned and looked as he said this.  They had concerned looks on their faces.  

“Oh,” realizing that he obviously looked like he had been crying.  “Nothing really, just missing home a little bit.  

“But we’ve only been gone for three days!” a tall teammate named Tanaka said.  

“Yeah I know.  It’s pretty lame isn’t it . . . well, I better get back to my room.  It’s been a long day for me.”  

His teammates watched him as he climbed the staircase adjacent to the lobby up to his room.  

“Could it be about that guy we saw yesterday?  Didn’t he say he was a  teammate?” the libero named Aoto asked.  

“I think you may be right,” the wing spiker, Makoto, agreed.  “It’s not like him  to be emotional like that.  He usually just shows up to practice, does his stuff and leaves.” 

“I hope he’s alright,” Tanaka added with worry in his voice.  “We have a practice match against that university tomorrow and I don’t want to lose to a bunch of Americans.  I love hitting his tosses.”   


End file.
